Things I’ve learned while being an Admin

Posted by John Sorensen on May 26th, 2009

You have been granted magic powers. Items WILL self-repair with JUST YOUR presence. Use this power wisely. Do not use it to try and get free snacks from the vending machine.

Certain people get ‘VETO power’ past the Help Desk and go directly to you. Not right but that just IS. One department that will abuse this most will be “Sales”. Enough said.

Developers like freedom. They don’t like restrictions. Hint. Locking them down to ‘guest’ access is NOT productive. Or profitable. They cringe when you DENY them direct remote access to servers.

When you explain to an angry mob of staff that you will not take their requests to fix their disconnected network terminals UNTIL they submit it FROM their dead network terminals; There will be a lynching.

Always open new equipment (ESPECIALLY NEW LAPTOPS!) In a secluded location. Staff can smell new fresh hardware a mile away. They pounce on it like jackals.

If a developer would like to borrow your tools from time to time be nice. Just don’t let them in the datacenter or a server no matter what they say.

Sometimes Developers and Infrastructure are on opposing sides. However combines they can out drink the entire office.

When you DO an “All Nighter” (not IF) a few things of importance. A cup of coffee is good. A pot of coffee is great. Eating a bag of coffee beans will make you Lord of the Underworld! Stick to only a pot.

Datacenters look really cool lit up at night with the lights out. They don’t look so nice when you hang stockings all over the cabinets or lay cookies on the switches. Santa Claus will not drop down inside through your D3 pipeline.

Tech Support will lie sometimes. Sometimes they won’t. You will COMPLETELY lack the ability to reach through the handset and strangle them. Please don’t bother ruining a good handset trying.

DON’T LET THE DEVELOPERS EXTEND THE ACTIVE DIRECTORY SCHEMA NO MATTER HOW “Cool” IT SOUNDS!

Surprising Developers with a new Network, Security structure, Operating System and Restrictions will meet with “resistance”

A free copy of the Yellowpages is a better monitor support stand than the $100 Ergonomic one. Don’t ask me. Ask the legal department.

Nobody EVER reads the big displayed message that says “TONER OUT” or checks the Paper Tray or even looks to see if the printer is on BEFORE calling the Helpdesk (without a support ticket) screaming for help.

Sometimes things don’t make sense. If it works when you’re done with it, sometimes you shouldn’t ask “Why?” .

You can make yourself look productive while playing chess on Google. Just look very concerned and concentrated when you do it. And DON’T FLINCH when challenged that it isn’t “work related”. Stick to your story.

Be careful what you say on blogs and forums. Santa Claus is watching. So is your boss.

Your boss will find your personal website, blog, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIN account. Just leave it at that. Don’t ask further.

If you think you can spend all day long applying to jobs at Google, you can’t. If you think you should, don’t. If you think the boss will have a sense of humor about it, he won’t.

Whatever can happen, will, it will always happen when you least expect it and least desire it. GET OVER IT! (it’s an actual law even.. ask “Murphy” about it)